LIGHTHOUSE BLOG

AZ Legislature To Consider Shutting Off Power & Water to CA Over Boycott

Facing barely audible boycott harassment from California, but nonetheless annoyed by the hypocrisy, the Arizona Legislature is considering cutting off all Arizona water, as well as nuclear power, that is sold to California.

"If they want to boycott us over following federal law and trying to protect Arizona citizens, then we think the courteous thing to do would be to help them to not be hypocrites," said one legislator.

Another said, "We're going to sell the power to Mexico instead.  They [Mexican government] are a more friendly government, are more financially solvent than California, and frankly, we like their people much better, as their share more of our conservative values," said another, who preferred she not be identified.

Another said, "California is a beautiful state, and we love to visit the ocean, but the reality is they need us more than we need them, so we'll shut off the power and water for a while, and then see how they feel about following federal law and border control."

The Arizona Governor's Office has not commented yet on the proposed legislation, but the Governor is said to be in support of it.  The California's governor is said to be packing for Austria.

Editor's Note:  This was parody folks, but it would be hilarious if Arizona shut down California for a little while to make them practice what they preach.

Queen Of Consumption Admonishes Brewer For Not Knowing How To Make Cuts

Jana Bommersbach, in the recent issue of Phoenix Magazine, lambastes Jan Brewer for not knowing what cuts to make to balance the budget.  It's hilarious that the personification of not knowing when to stop thinks she can give our Governor advice.  Like calories consumed and calories burned, tax revenue must balance with spending.  Being out of balance creates bloat. 

Terry Goddard's Country Club Suit Impacts Gays & Lesbians

The Phoenix Country Club today settled on a lawsuit from Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard.  The suit claimed sexual discrimination against the club for having separate facilities for men and women.   Rather than continue to fight the suit, the private, members only country club caved and settled, thus allowing members of both sexes the right to share facilities.

I find this whole mess to be another big-brother government intervention where they had no business or jurisdiction.  That said, why men would want to dine apart from women is just beyond me.  But perhaps tradition got the best of the country club members until today.  In any case, the fact that it was private club means that its membership, via by-laws, and not government, should dictate the rules of the club. 

Goddard's case will undoubtedly have unintended consequences among private groups and clubs across the state, including gay and lesbian groups, who may now be legally obliged to have members of the opposite sex attend any private functions.  Perhaps Goddard himself will ensure nondiscrimination at those events.  Whatever the case, the political fallout of this idiocy will indeed be entertaining.

Byrd, Former Klan Leader & Democrat Senator Steps Down

Robert Byrd, former Ku Klux Klan leader and long standing US Senator from West Virginia is stepping down from the leadership of the Senate Appropriations Committee, reportedly so he can spend time burning crosses on the White House lawn, starting in January.  Byrd, the oldest serving senator, probably should have stepped down 40 years ago when he was 80.  Read story...

ACLU(eless) Tim Nelson Spends $20,000 To Identify Bloggers

Tim Nelson is fighting back against bloggers who have gone after his record of leniency and ineptitude.  He has reportedly spent $20,000 on an investigation to identify blog posters on local blogs.  In particular interest is "Pat" on Sonoran Alliance.  You'd think he'd have more important things to do than go after bloggers.

In any case, "Pat" has agreed to reveal him, um, herself here, in a Lighthouse Blog exclusive:

Breaking News From Alaska: 2 Ply

The left wing media has invaded Alaska in search of any scandal, character flaw, or parking ticket regarding VP nominee Sarah Palin. She's been attacked for trying to ban books, but it turns out they hadn't even been written yet when it was alleged she tried. She's being attacked for a sermon a minister gave, 2 years after she left the church. So far, with all of the "journalists" up there, they've only been able to find one potential misbehavior. The Palin family uses 2 ply toilet paper. Environmentalists are of course outraged, demanding she withdraw her nomination, and may attempt a blockade around Alaskan ports until the Governor switches to 1 ply. Kieth Olbermann is on his way to Alaska to cover this important story for MSNBC.